What Tony Robbins and Sudoku Taught Me About Success

Are you familiar with the numbers puzzle called "Sudoku"? Literally, the name, from Japanese, means "numbers poison," though it could also be translated as "Number Addiction." The games are computer generated, usually, and the basic idea is pretty simple. You need to fill in the missing numbers, between one and nine, so that each 3x3 grid has all 9 digits, and each vertical and horizontal row has all 9 digits, without repeating. And the thing is, all correctly made Sudoku puzzles are solvable!

There is only one solution, but there is a solution. As I was doing my brain calisthenics with Sudoku last week, I realized that I didn't give up. I kept trying to find the answer. The reason? Because I knew there was a solution. This reminded me of the speech I heard from Anthony Robbins, when he was talking about giving up, or not. I paraphrase, but the point was that it is most difficult to keep going, to keep trying for what we want because we are not sure of the outcome!

Think about the last time you started a project or even embarked on a new hobby. If you were SURE you could play the guitar expertly after 2 years, how much longer would you keep at it? If you were certain that your new business proposal would bring in an extra $20,000 to the bottom line, how much harder would you work on it? It's only when the result is in doubt that we start to question our own motivation. Once we start doubting the result, it's not a far journey before we start doubting why we are doing what we are doing, and even, eventually, doubting ourselves.

Puzzles like Sudoku are great for keeping your mind nimble and in shape, but also for teaching stick-to-it-ivenes and perseverance. So the next time you find yourself flagging, doubting whether to continue on something that you were enthusiastic about previously, imagine that it's like a Sudoku puzzle: the answer, the result you want is guaranteed. It's just waiting for you to uncover it.

Nov 10 Best 10

I want to beg off of doing the top 10 for the weekend mainly because it was not so hot. Moody people at home and a messy, tearful, boozy English school party made for a rough 2 days. I debated changing the title for this month’s objective from “10 Best” to “10 Biggest” which is really how I do it at the end-of-the-year round-up. That means that the biggest events of any year (or day), the ones that have impact, aren’t neccessarily good. Certainly, breaking your leg would probably count as a “10 biggest news” story, but most certainly not a “best 10.”

On retrospect, though, I want to keep it positive, and keep focusing on the BEST parts of my day. So here goes, today’s Best 10:

1. a quiet cup of coffee and “The Daily Show” via internet, by myself while Emiko and kids were getting cough medicine from the pediatrician.

2. Abe and Yuki in good spirits. Yuki, after years of being a little rug rat, is turning into a young man.

3. Having my calls forwarded to my cell during the weekend has already paid off. After hearing so many people hang up without leaving a message, I looked up call forwarding, saw the price to be very reasonable ($8.00/mo?), and signed up. Today, when I returned the call I received over the weekend, I met a potential client/member. Another older young woman, 22, with not much life in her voice. Though she lives too far to commute to I CAN, we made an arrangement to keep in touch.

4. another $20 check trickles in. That means that 97% of our $1000 donation goal for a new barbeque grill and ice cream maker has been met. Do you remember the powerpoint presentation I gave in Feb or March? It was for this project. With just 3 more donations of $10, we will have acheived our fundraising goal. In fact, the barbeque and ice cream maker was purchased on my credit card when I was in the US in August, to save on freight. So this is really just a matter of re-imbursing myself at this point. But it will feel great to hit that $1000 mark!

5. Taking action on (part of) the paper pile: a medium-sized stack of returned mailings that has been sitting on the floor next to my desk for weeks has been re-addressed and re-sent. Wonder if the last 3 donations will come from this group…

6. A call from Jusco, the big shopping center/department store that I interviewed with 2 weeks ago. Apparently I CAN qualifies for thier 1% charity program, but they want to see I CAN a week from Wednesday, on the 19th. I may have to scramble to give us a more crowded atmosphere; however, I am not ashamed to show them how I CAN really works, and don’t really want to do any “performing.”

6. Wife Emiko came by I CAN this afternoon to get some help for her English class, which would be attended also by parents. It was a semi-unusual situation, with her in my workspace, but I was happy to be able to help her professionally. I don’t think she saw my disappointment when it turned out she didn’t need me as a classroom visitor today

8. A good English lesson with the hospital chairman, followed by a lesson cancellation, which made for an early night(!)

9. coming upstairs to the apartment, in from the cold, to find the heater on, the room toasty.

10. I came home at an inopportune time again tonight, meaning that the kids jumped out of their futons to greet me. Sometimes I have to get under my covers and feign sleeping to get them to settle back down. The winding-down talk, “Good night, Mom, good night Dad, good night, Eli, good night Yuto, sounded like something from the Waltons, until 2 year old Eli said, in perfect English, “Good morning!” and cracked us all up, under the covers.

Nov 7 Best 10

My eyes were stinging and I felt a seasonal bug coming on but the day had a few nice surprises:

1. K. (our oldest member: 26?!) reported that he got his motorbike license!! This is a vicarious Best 10, to be sure, but he has been trying to get this for more than 2 years! In fact, he's set it up in his mind that until he got a license, it would be impossible to get a job, part time or otherwise. This is a giant step for a man who, despite getting his high school diploma at age 21, hasn't moved forward much, since.

2. Akiko, who tutors at I CAN, interupted Kazuki and my driver's license celebration with news about a part time job opening, sorting and packaging educational materials that seemed right for I CAN's older members. Kazuyuki, to my surprise, says he wants to interview for the job. (He's on a roll)

3. The Rotary Club lunch featured some incredible smoky-mushrooms-and-tofu dish that I have never imagined. Great to notice the flavors. As a bonus, today's speech was about the history and making of miso, that staple of the Japanese palate. We all got free samples:)

4. My meeting with the manager of the health club (they have "Curves" franchises in the US, right? Here, too) did not result in a new sponsor for I CAN. On the other hand, I had another great, informative learning experience just by listening to him for an hour. Quite possibly more valuable than a measly donation...

5. Despite the above meeting ending just as the banks were closing at 3 on Friday, the two banks I CAN uses to receive student payments allowed me to submit my accounting sheets authorizing the bank transfers after they had just closed their doors today. Don't get me started on the banking system here, but if you want to read a former rant of mine, check this old blog.

6. After the bank run, I stopped by the English Conversation School for a cup of coffee and found wife Emiko there, doing the same thing. She apparently locked herself out of our house in a mad rush to her classes this morning. Nice to enjoy a cup with Emiko and Yuko and the staff there, as it rained outside.

7. Third night this week with dinner at home. Children were relatively non-wild and we had a (nother!) pleasant meal together

8. Returned to I CAN where Akiko was tutoring Hirofumi. She had more ideas for I CAN, including making wood block prints and calling a calligraphy teacher. Sometimes she gets overly enthused about ideas that don't work, but these seem to have potential. She also introduced a kitchen facility open at night where the older girls from Wednesday night could try some cooking. We've been wanting to do that for a long time, but our meeting times have been too late to rent any city facilities. Until now. Today I am thankful for Akiko!

9. I got home again just in time to wake my kids up at 9:30. This can have disasterous consequences, but tonight their futon-warmed hugs and calls of "Daddy! Daddy!" were the highlight of my day.

10. Writing this and being in bed before midnight!