Nov 10 Best 10

I want to beg off of doing the top 10 for the weekend mainly because it was not so hot. Moody people at home and a messy, tearful, boozy English school party made for a rough 2 days. I debated changing the title for this month’s objective from “10 Best” to “10 Biggest” which is really how I do it at the end-of-the-year round-up. That means that the biggest events of any year (or day), the ones that have impact, aren’t neccessarily good. Certainly, breaking your leg would probably count as a “10 biggest news” story, but most certainly not a “best 10.”

On retrospect, though, I want to keep it positive, and keep focusing on the BEST parts of my day. So here goes, today’s Best 10:

1. a quiet cup of coffee and “The Daily Show” via internet, by myself while Emiko and kids were getting cough medicine from the pediatrician.

2. Abe and Yuki in good spirits. Yuki, after years of being a little rug rat, is turning into a young man.

3. Having my calls forwarded to my cell during the weekend has already paid off. After hearing so many people hang up without leaving a message, I looked up call forwarding, saw the price to be very reasonable ($8.00/mo?), and signed up. Today, when I returned the call I received over the weekend, I met a potential client/member. Another older young woman, 22, with not much life in her voice. Though she lives too far to commute to I CAN, we made an arrangement to keep in touch.

4. another $20 check trickles in. That means that 97% of our $1000 donation goal for a new barbeque grill and ice cream maker has been met. Do you remember the powerpoint presentation I gave in Feb or March? It was for this project. With just 3 more donations of $10, we will have acheived our fundraising goal. In fact, the barbeque and ice cream maker was purchased on my credit card when I was in the US in August, to save on freight. So this is really just a matter of re-imbursing myself at this point. But it will feel great to hit that $1000 mark!

5. Taking action on (part of) the paper pile: a medium-sized stack of returned mailings that has been sitting on the floor next to my desk for weeks has been re-addressed and re-sent. Wonder if the last 3 donations will come from this group…

6. A call from Jusco, the big shopping center/department store that I interviewed with 2 weeks ago. Apparently I CAN qualifies for thier 1% charity program, but they want to see I CAN a week from Wednesday, on the 19th. I may have to scramble to give us a more crowded atmosphere; however, I am not ashamed to show them how I CAN really works, and don’t really want to do any “performing.”

6. Wife Emiko came by I CAN this afternoon to get some help for her English class, which would be attended also by parents. It was a semi-unusual situation, with her in my workspace, but I was happy to be able to help her professionally. I don’t think she saw my disappointment when it turned out she didn’t need me as a classroom visitor today

8. A good English lesson with the hospital chairman, followed by a lesson cancellation, which made for an early night(!)

9. coming upstairs to the apartment, in from the cold, to find the heater on, the room toasty.

10. I came home at an inopportune time again tonight, meaning that the kids jumped out of their futons to greet me. Sometimes I have to get under my covers and feign sleeping to get them to settle back down. The winding-down talk, “Good night, Mom, good night Dad, good night, Eli, good night Yuto, sounded like something from the Waltons, until 2 year old Eli said, in perfect English, “Good morning!” and cracked us all up, under the covers.

November 6 10 Best Things

Yes, it gets hard coming up with BEST THINGS around numbers 6, 7, 8. But that’s the point. To stretch, to recall those moments that might have got missed if there didn’t have to be 10. So let’s see how it goes today:

1. Kids to pre-school smoothly. Not a big deal, but when it doesn’t go well it can color the whole day.

2. A bento box (lunch box) prepared for me by Emiko! This is a rare treat, and thanks to Yuto’s field trip today to the local park/museum, mom made a 2-fer, and I didn’t have to eat out for lunch today.

3. Easy day at I CAN. Our single morning student, Yuki, called to cancel. While it would be possible to worry about the lack of attendees here lately, I choose to take the easy days when they come, knowing that extreme busy-ness is right around the corner.

4. Squaring away some financial documents and Xmas party plans with Yuko at the English Conversation school.

5. Being able to suggest a fellow NPO group (”Junior Leaders”) who would love to help make balloon animals for the Christmas party. Feels good to be able to connect people.

6. Cleaning up by returning getting-old phone messages and emails.

7. Sneaking home for a 20 minute dinner between classes. I had a rare eye-to-eye talk with Emiko about how our day was (often we are too wiped out to do any real communication: DANGER!)

8. An email from a Peace Corps friend in Ghana, rejoicing about the US elections.

9. Unexpected $140 donation for I CAN in the mail

10. Beer and “Juno” video coming up…

International Dis-education?

Yesterday was parent-teacher conference day at the preschool. I was at work so Emiko went. In short, daughter Eli is fine. But son Yuto (and his parents!) have a few habits teach is not too pleased about. We arrive at preschool usually at about 9:15 or so. Doors open at 8:30, and we should arrive by 9:00. But it is a battle to get kids out the door, especially when son is testing about not having to go at all. Further, since I get home from work after everyone is asleep, I appreciate our relaxed mornings, breakfast together, conversations. Teacher says that this is just Father being selfish(!) and that it is more important for Yuto to arrive ON TIME, so that her schedule is not compromised.

That’s OK. Though I don’t appreciate the editorial, I can set the alarm earlier and arrive at school half an hour earlier.

But, that’s not all. They want Yuto to stop using English words at preschool. They say it is for “his own good” to learn in Japanese only. Apparently, they have corrected his English to Japanese several times (”no, not ‘bucket’, BA-KE-TSU”; “not spider, KU-MO”) etc. This may explain why Yuto asks everyday if he has preschool or not. I sure don’t think a 3 year old boy should have to look at someone’s facial expressions and consider the situation before he decides which word to use.

Emiko was angry about this development, too. We agree that they are denying a part of his identity when they refuse to respond to his English. And what a shame. They have a great ambassador for English education in their midst (Yuto, not me), but instead of saying, “Oh, a SPIDER! That’s how to say it in English?” They completely are shutting this part of him out.

Emiko says, “maybe we should think about changing preschools,” but Yuto already has a great group of friends where he is.

In a good development, Emiko’s mother fully supported her and her grandson, and told us to fight for Yuto’s RIGHT to express himself as he saw fit. That made Emiko happy. Also, the I CAN member’s reaction to this story was great.

Yuki, who at 14 has yet to calm down, and is usually bouncing off the walls from his diet of fast food and video games, and seldom has a serious word, says, “That really makes my heart hurt.” I looked to see if he was joking, but apparently he was really moved by this story. And remember May? She surprised me by saying, “Great! Now you can homeschool him at our house! We speak three languages: Japanese, English and Hebrew!”

Funny that you can get understanding from the most unlikely sources….

It looks like we will be continuing this discussion with the director of the preschool….

GUNDAM OO

I am sitting here tonight in our classroom, as 10 of our members attempt an “all nighter” of television gaming.

I hate almost everything about “Terebi geimu” as they are called here, but on this one day, on our “Bou nen kai” (lit: forget the year party) I let them game until their eyes fall out.

They live at home surrounded by parents always telling them to shut it off.

Tonight, they can game until they really feel “full,” game until they are satiated, play until they themselves decide to stop.

I’m not sure it’s educational, but while it is fun, they eventually get a taste of “too much of a good thing,” and hopefully learn about setting good limits for themselves in terms of personal care.

In the meantime, behind me on the TV, battles rage on…

What if we gave a party and no body showed up?

This is kind of what's happening at work lately.

I admit that my enthusiasm for planning events at our Free School, I CAN, has, well, been curbed somewhat in the preceding months.

When I announce, "Let's plant a vegetable garden!"
I hear, "How long will THAT take?"

When I prepare an adventure-based field trip, "Let's go rafting in Gunma!"
I get, "Not interested."

So I try to turn the tables: "So, what do YOU guys want to do??"
"Whatever."

It is sometimes hard to stay motivated when your surrounding environment is so, well, unmotivated.

Here are some thoughts: Maybe I should just LET the freeschoolers have their relax time. Don't pressure them to do the things that I think are good for them. Like I tell the parents: You don't have to hold expectations.

The question that has been with me since I CAN started is this: How much of a "kick in the ass" is good for kids, and how much is too much?

Okuchi Keiko and the Tokyo Shure gang seem to think that kids programs should be 100% kid-centered, with no adult curriculum set, no expectations, no pressure.

While this appeals to the lazy side of myself, I am not sure kids do their best with NO expectations.

This topic needs more thought and more discussion. Feel free to comment.

Charlie.

A hero talks about kids

My job in Japan is working at I CAN, which is a non-profit Free School which offers a place of caring and socialization for kids who are not in traditional schools. Here, Deepak Chopra tells about what kids need and want, and how adults can improve their relationships with kids.

One example of a Free School...

I was happy to find this when I did a seach on Google for "I CAN" and FREE SCHOOL. Although yours truly didn't get listed on the first page, this great promo for a free school in the US came up. SOoo, what do you think? Is this what education should be? Are these kids smart? Precocious? Normal?

The setting is beautiful. Might there be such a location for I CAN some day!!

Enjoy and comment as you wish.

"Favorite Sakura Festival Food"

The cherry blossoms are in full bloom in Takada, in the southern part of Niigata prefecture, where I live and work. Two years ago my mother and sister came in April, hoping to catch "full bloom" but had to leave a few days before the flowers opened. This year, there was quite a stir caused in Japan because the incredibly mild winter (see Inconvenient Truth) was wreaking havoc on the national cherry blossom bloom predictions.

But this week, as you can see, is beautiful. Rows upon rows of cherry blossom trees that remind me of pink popcorn or cotton candy. At least the cotton candy (candy floss for Brits, 'Tralians and Kiwis) can be had at the food stalls that are just as important (or moreso) than the flowers themselves. The Japanese have a saying, "Hana yori Dango," literally, "Dumplings rather than Flowers," which shows the preference for eating and drinking at the festival. Actually, some think the cherry blossoms are merely an(other) excuse for loosen-the-tie eating and drinking to excess.

When I took the Day Program members of Free School I CAN to the park, we were all having a wonderful time until a well intentioned (?) grandmother came up and started interrogating us as to why we weren't "In School." While I patiently explained that we were members of an alternative school, she literally could not understand what that might be, and walked off muttering something about "compulsory education."

In Japan, compulsory education is mandatory until the age of 15 (vs. 18 in the US, at least in California). However, for those kids who can't or choose not to go to "regular" school, there are few options. Homeschooling is just getting started here. Free schools are seen as playhouses for selfish kids who "can't cope."

Our mission at I CAN is to give kids a safe, fun, friendly environment for kids to learn some of those coping skills. Whether they choose to apply them at school or not is not as important as the fact that they are growing into confident, happy kids, who look forward to getting up in the morning!

Freeschool Seminar + Charles Burke = Breakthrough?

I went to Tokyo for the National Freeschool Management seminar in February, hosted by Okuchi Keiko and her staff at Tokyo Shure. It was THE conference I had been waiting 10 years or so to attend.

One of the messages that came through loud and clear was that, while at regular schools, students are graded on what they can DO, free schools focus simply on BE-ing. In Japanese, that is "SURU" yori "IRU". Being rather than doing.

So how does I CAN fit into all this? With a name like I CAN, we certainly have SOME emphasis on DOING. I believe that the human body is made for movement. We gain in confidence by succeeding, eventually, in DOING what we set out to do. That is efficacy, and is also closely tied to self esteem.

Then, on a call with my friend and mentor Charles Burke, he said something similar. He said, (paraphrasing) "so many things we learn how to do are merely techniques (things to DO). We can learn the techniques of time management, or money management, or communication techniques and DO them. But not much of that sticks until we change who we ARE.

Hmm. Be and Do. Do and Be. I am reminded of the old joke:

Socrates: To Be is to Do
Plato: To Do is to Be
Sinatra: Do-be-do-be-dooo

Junior High school jokes aside, I think there is something to be learned here.
Maybe Free Schools do the "Inside work" that prepare kids and young adults for the Doing of school and work and society at large...?

Something like that? Comments please.

By the way, Freeschool network's page is here:
www.freeschoolnetwork.jp　　(in Japanese）
Tokyo Shure's page is here:
http://www.shure.or.jp　　(some　English）
and Charles Burke's blog is here:
http://www.bullseye-living.com