Nov 12 Best 10

Late, but here goes: Today was mainly about Yuto’s and my trip to the apple orchards with I CAN.

1. Son Yuto is in a very excited mood because we decided he was coming apple picking with the I CANers this morning. 3-year-old excitement is fun for everybody.

2. We had a small meeting before getting into the car at I CAN, and went through the very Japanese ritual of self-introductions, as Yuto was a guest. Because he WON the rock-paper-scissors decision mechanism, Yuto was first, his dad watching a bit too closely. And he did just great. In Japanese, “My name is Charles Yuto, my favorite food is chocolate, and today I want to pick a lot of apples.” With no one to model after, I thought that his was right on. I’m biased. He smiled.

3. Beautiful blue skies. Good driving weather for the hour-plus into the mountains in Nagano prefecture. You remember Winter Olympics there, right?

4. The drive up with Yuto in the passenger seat, 4 I CANers sitting behind us. In a way, taking my son on an event like this is a mini-dream come true. Though I couldn’t get past the feeling that most of the conversation was beyond him, and I spent energy trying to be equally an I CAN teacher and a dad, I felt like Yuto really grew up on this trip with the older kids.

5. A very warm greeting by Aoyama, the man who owns the orchard/preschool here. The preschool itself is incredible, with hand-built showers and library, a wooden main building that looks like a log ski cabin, emphasis on cooperative learning in a natural setting. Yes, our kids would be going here if it wasn’t an hour each way!

6. Picnic lunch under bright red-leaved autumn trees in crisp blue air.

7. Playing in a treehouse with my son. Swinging on the giant, “scary” rope swing.

8. Yuto again, racing with the big boys down a giant hill, taking a wild, cartwheeling spill, getting scared, crying, hugging dad, then 2 minutes later being back on the starting line.

9. Lifting my son up to pick the giantest fruits from trees laden down with softball-sized red “Fuji” apples.

10. Telling the stories all over again to Mom at dinner.

Love letter to Yuto

Man, you are growing up!

Not yet even 3 years old, and already you laugh, make jokes, tell fibs, pour your own milk, wash your own plate, put your laundry away (better than me--just ask mom!) fight with your 11 month old baby sister one minute and then tenderly hug her the next. She loves you, and so do your mom and so do I.

We had a great summer vacation, didn't we?
I will never forget your first trip to the ocean.
"Big one coming!" and we jumped over the little ripples while you held me and giggled.

Fireworks? "I'm not scared!"

Then our time at the pool. I will never forget you "swimming! swimming!" as you kicked your arms and legs as I held you above the water. From the bottom pool step, just up to your neck, I stood a bit away, and you jumped toward me, smiling and with utter confidence that I would be there to hold you. Even as you started to go under, you never stopped smiling. For a flash of a moment of a second I thought what it would be like if I wasn't there to pull you up. You never doubted me.

I hope you never lose that trust in people.

When you walk into a room of strangers, you assume everyone is your friend, that everyone will love you. Usually, you're right.

You look older kids right in the eye, and say, "Konnichiwa!" Hello! Good Afternoon! Nice to meet you! More times then not, shy Japanese kids don't know what to make of your friendliness, and mutter a response, or look for their moms.

You always have trouble getting to bed, going to sleep. Last night was no different. "Go to bed, NOW!" I end up shouting. You cry, "Don't get mad, papa!"

You can sing all the songs from "High School Musical" in English.

You are a good climber.

You are a good wrestler.

You are a fast runner.

Last night, I had to go back to work, to get ready for Monday. You wanted to come too, even at 11:00 at night. "I wanna work!"

Finally, after scoldings from mom and me, you got into your futon and got quiet. After a few minutes, in a real quiet voice, you said, "papa? You can go to work now." My heart felt full. "Mama and I are going to sleep, so you go to work." I was at the genkan entrance of the apartment, frozen. "Papa, suki yo" (I love you). "And tomorrow pick me up from preschool in the black car."

Yuto, you don't have to grow up if you don't want to.

Love,

your Papa.

How to be a Man...

After the sick-scares of May, June turned into a good month. Emiko and I just got back from taking our daughter, Elinor to the American Embassy in Tokyo to get her registered as a US citizen. In 3-4 weeks her passport and Social Security number should come. Congratulations, Eli!

While poking around on Amazon today, I found a great book! Part "I CAN manual" and part "Boy Scout Handbook," The Dangerous Book for Boys covers all the essential skills for being a boy: paper airplane making, go-cart building, bow and arrow making, as well as adventure stories about Shakleton and Perry, Edmund Hillary and the like. There is an American and a British version, and the crafty stuff kind of reminds me of the Japanese best selling series of a few years ago called Asobi Zukan (Play Guide) which had rules and diagrams for how to play sumo, make bamboo skates, sketches of common insects, how to pitch a tent, how to make a teru-teru bozu, and how to use a ken-dama. The "Zukan" is written in Japanese, but it has enough drawings and diagrams to make it nearly bilingual.

Apparently there is a debate (possibly manufactured?) about the political correctness of "A Dangerous book for Boys" I expect to be giving this to some father friends of mine. I say, turn of the Playstation and Go Outside! Even in the rainy season, there is more to be learned in a walk around the block than clearing another level of Dragon Quest. Check out the Amazon interview with co-author Conn Iggulden, who seems to hit it right on.

"Boys Be Ambitious" as William Clark famously said to the young men of what is now Hokkaido University, always had kind of a sexist ring to my ears, but I don't find anything to argue about with "Boys be Strong" or "Boys Be Adventurous" or "Boys Take Risks!" Of course, my argument about Clark's phrase was that it excluded girls. What, girls don't be ambitious, stay home and do the laundry? Yes, Girls Be Strong, Girls Be Adventurous, Girls Take Risks. Just watch the risky behavior. Hmm, am I falling into a quagmire of sexist debate? Of course I want freshly Americanized Elinor-chan to be strong and be adventurous, but I feel better about her brother taking on more risk.

Risk management in Japan is another topic for another post, but books like "Dangerous" and Asobi Zukan can give young or future men a good foundation in what it is to be...what it can be to be... a guy, and feel just fine about it.